


bear hugs

by rankarana



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, hurt/comfort but mostly misaki wandering through some emo headspace and hagu being there for her, rated M for physicality that's probably slightly above T ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 11:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16240370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rankarana/pseuds/rankarana
Summary: Relying on people sucks, Misaki thinks, because it's a pain for everyone involved - but sometimes Misaki ends up feeling kind of sad, and sometimes Hagumi has the solution, and sometimes a warm body is better than words.





	bear hugs

Relying on people, in general, is not what Misaki does. It’s an awkward, messy, uncomfortable way of doing things; it causes problems for others, and honestly, it makes stuff harder for you too.

And relying on someone who she knows has it so, so much harder than she does? That feels even worse.

_are you free tonight?_

She’s not bundled up under the covers, because that’s not what she does, either, but she is kind of just… there, on her bed, laid out, arm weakly curled into herself so she can see the screen of the phone as she sends Hagumi the question.

_Sure!!_

_Whats up? >:3_

And Hagumi replies so quick, too, that Misaki hopes she’s not lying, and she _is_ free tonight, and Misaki’s not putting any kind of pressure on her. She wants to see Hagumi, but—

She wants Hagumi to want to see her?

That’s not it, probably. She isn’t sure what she wants, or what she wants Hagumi to want, and thinking that hard makes her stomach turn even more. Her heart’s already kind of… gross-feeling, stuck right in the pit of her stomach in the way that makes her want to vomit inside of the Michelle suit, when there’s no air conditioning and the venue’s tiny and tight and cramped, and…

_do you want to come around?_

Typing’s the best way to get herself out of her head, right now.

…Hagumi’s already replying, the little indicator tells her, but before she can finish, Misaki starts writing again; she’s trying to get the words out of her head as fast as possible, so she even forces her other arm around to take hold of the phone and help her write.

_Oh!! Ok sure!!_

She’s too slow, but--

_i wanna see you_

(so bad), but she doesn’t say that. Too much effort, too much weight, too much everything.

(please)

Not that, either.

…maybe she doesn’t even _deserve_ Hagumi to come over, she thinks.

* * *

 Hagumi is so tiny, so thin, that when she presses up against Misaki and holds her from behind that Misaki can feel every rib and every half-toned sinewy muscle. Her hips press against the small of Misaki’s back, and it’s not like Misaki is _tall_ by anyone’s standards, but she feels like if she  _properly_ sat on Hagumi’s lap, she’d crush her.

(They’d tried that before, though, and Hagumi didn’t seem to mind at all. She’d spread her legs a little wider, so Misaki’s weight pressed more against the sofa and her stomach than her thighs, but it'd worked, and Hagumi'd held her tenderly but  _tightly_ from behind, like a bear hug.

But then again--)

“Mii?”

(--Hagumi doesn’t seem to mind anything.)

“Mm?”

“Love ya.”

“…yeah.”

And Hagumi doesn’t mind that, either, because she’s too understanding, or too forgiving. She just presses into Misaki’s back a little more as they lie there, on their sides, together, hand moving up from gently grasping at her thigh to tracing along her stomach, picking out each tight bundle of muscle as she does.

Normally, she’d be tickling Misaki right now, blowing raspberries into the back of Misaki’s neck until Misaki gets tired enough of it to turn around and throw her to the bed instead, but—right now, she doesn't have the energy to do that, and Hagumi knows that too.

So they just lie here in bed, duvet  pulled up most of the way just in case _something_ happens. The studio audience of some comedy show her little sister is watching  occasionally flares up, roaring through the thin walls and punctuating the silence. Every time Misaki’s body shifts, too, on the cheap mattress, that feels _loud,_ so much so she’s worried it’ll be louder than the TV.

“Are you, uh…” Hagumi’s looking for the right word, fingers poking a little harder at Misaki’s stomach as she thinks. “…satisfied?

Hehe.”

...she still giggles, though, because she’s not good at setting the mood, or dirty talk, or any of that stuff. Neither of them are, and considering how she feels right now, Misaki’d be even worse.

Hagumi  _talked_ a lot, though. She'd asked Misaki how it felt, and if this was right, and if she maybe wanted this to stop because all Misaki was doing was mumbling approval in response, and Misaki almost broke her neck snapping her head around when she heard her ask the last one.

_(Obviously, she’d asked her not to stop._

_“Oh! Um, okay, you were just quieter than normal, and, you…” Hagumi stumbled, trying to put her thoughts in order. “...hadn’t squeezed my butt any, or stuffs…”_

_Is that what good sex is to her, Misaki wondered._

_“...sorry.”_

_“Uh, no! You don’t gotta apologise…” but Misaki’d made sure to be a little more vocal, a little more stroking Hagumi’s arm and leaning back into her afterwards, just to be sure.)_

“Yeah. I’m… good.”

“If yer sure,” but when she goes to pull her hand away, Misaki grabs at her, keeps her hand in place, just a little lower than it was before.

Hagumi lets out a little squeak, for her part, and that’s… cute.

“Not keeping going, just… if you…” It’s hard to put what she wants into words, so Misaki gives up, and nestles back into Hagumi, while the girl shifts like she’s trying to accommodate her body. Grow bigger, just so she can make Misaki a little more comfortable.

Her hand, still a little wet, ends up resting just under Misaki’s belly button – the callouses on Hagumi’s fingertips (which make _perfect_ sense in being there but still threw Misaki off the first time she felt them) scraping against her skin a little. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands, but that’s fine. Misaki doesn’t know what she was even asking for.

“Thanks, for coming round. Again.” It’s Hagumi’s turn to just mumble cheerily in response, because her lips are too busy pressing into the back of Misaki’s neck.

Normally Hagumi’s—a _biter_ , to put it lightly, so these half-butterfly kisses almost feel weird. Hagumi trying too hard, maybe, to make everything seem alright.

“It ain’t a problem… Uh, you were bein' kinda not... _you,_ so I think that’s why I got really worried.” Her lips touch the top of Misaki’s spine, and she slides her whole body down so they’re tighter together. Hagumi takes a deep breath in, and Misaki wonders what she tastes of – smoke and sweat and salt, and—

...now she's worrying if she's just some human-sized croquette.

“You could have let me meet you somewhere.”

“Yeah, but, I mean, it’s always fun to come over to yours! ‘cause, uh, we can do this…” Her hand slips a little lower, just as a tease, but—it makes Misaki grunt a little, shoulderblades tensing and pushing into Hagumi’s face; and Hagumi presses her cheek right back against her. “An’ it’s nice, to feel wanted, and stuff.”

Misaki can’t imagine doing something like this around Hagumi’s. It’s loud, and busy, and if Hagumi’s mom saw them, then—

She just doesn’t want to cause trouble for Hagumi, that’s all. Her feeling a little bit shitty, like the world’s most mediocre existential crisis, after she comes home from dressing in a mascot suit for money, feels like nothing compared to the family bullshit Hagumi has to deal with every day. Were her parents even willing to let her come around tonight?

“Yeah.”

…but vocalising that is weird, so she just says that. And then “Yeah,” again, to affirm that, yeah, this sure is a _yeah_ kind of thing.

She's bad at this.

“…do you wanna stay over tonight?” Misaki adds, grabbing hold of Hagumi’s hand and moving it to their side, to where their bodies press together. When she holds her like this, it makes sense why the callouses were so _surprising_ to her. Hagumi’s feel small in hers, fingers able to quickly slip between the gaps in her grip to hold onto her more tightly, fidgeting a little as they squeeze each others’ hands.

“Can I!?”

…it’d be so, so weird and inappropriate to send her back now, and it kind of fucks with Misaki that Hagumi doesn’t feel the same way.

“Yeah. My mom likes you, I think.”

With a giggle, and one last peck to her back, Hagumi pulls away, scrambling through the sheets to slide out of Misaki’s bed and give herself a quick check in the mirror – shirt pulled down, shorts done up, make sure her hair looks _‘I do DIY haircuts’_ messy and not _‘I just slept with your daughter, Ms Okusawa, an’ I really appreciate how much of a giver she is normally’_ messy.

It’s… the wrong kind of logic, a stupid, selfish way of looking at things, but Misaki feels so much better, now. Hagumi being there for her, _taking care_ of her, (oh my god, she actually let Hagumi take care of her) almost justified her texting her girlfriend on a weeknight to come around and cheer her up like this, because it _worked._

Not the kind of solution Misaki wants to come to rely on, but she’ll take it.

“Hagumi?”

“Mhmmm?” By the time she rolls over, awkwardly splayed across the bed, to stare at Hagumi, she sees Hagumi’s taken one of her snapbacks off her desk and is trying it on, modelling it in the mirror and looking pretty sheepish when Misaki catches her.

“I love you, too.”

“Hehe. Love ya, Mii-kun!”

…Misaki can’t help but smile. Just the tiniest bit.

 

**Author's Note:**

> y'know in retrospect this is a bizarre companion piece to bad bear, in a way that wasn't intentional at all. but now i just feel bad for kaoru.  
> thank you for joining me on this junk comfort food fic journey.
> 
> (also this is in the actual canon setting(-ish.) and isn't related to Now Hiring! at all, i just wanted to write slightly sappy emo misahagu)


End file.
